Thread:Kracked/@comment-27491757-20160926041516

A warning, but if you'd rather avoid an emotional me about us, er, well, you, then you probably shouldn't go on. I'm sorry.

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I have to be honest here- I miss you. Like, so fucking much. You can't even begin to believe how much I missed you. Maybe I'm being way too clingy and emotional. If I am, I'm sorry. But I just can't help but miss you this much. I just.. I miss the days when we were together happily. I miss the days when we would talk for hours on end about our dreams. I miss the moments we've had, the funny, goofy ones, and the deep, sincere ones. I just- I miss it so much.

I can't help it. I just can't. Even if I know that our relationship has been so distant and awkward lately, I can't help but be so fucking jealous for no rational reason every time a ship with you is made. I can't help but loathe any extremely close relationships you have, in or out of roleplay, because some extremely self-centered, selfish part of my head just screams that you should be mine, all mine. I just can't express how much I, well, I want you.

It's not like I loathe the people themselves; that's not it at all. I just am so, absolutely horrified by the thought that you might be with another. And I shouldn't be feeling this so strongly. I just- I shouldn't. This is online. It's been around a month since our break-up. Why should I be so affected by you, still?

I.. I don't know. I just.. can't help it. I want, so, so much, to be with you again, but at the same time I know it won't work. I know that with how awkward we've been recently, and how much the bonds between us have changed, that it'd never work. It.. it hurts.

I'm sorry I said this. I just.. I needed to let it out. So, so desperately. You, out of all people, should know how badly it affects me when I'm holding something in and letting it boil within me for long periods of time. I'm just- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it. It would have been better to leave it in the dust and let it rot, so I could learn to move on. I'm sorry.

I just.. I hope I didn't cause you any pain, as well. I hope I didn't start anything. I just.. I needed to get it out. I'm sorry. 